Everyone's favorite show about a women's prison is nowing on Netflix. "Orange is the New Black" is back on Netflix and everyone is happy and ready to get their binge watch on. Rather than do the normal "Weekend Watch", this writer felt compelled to give you ten things you should know about the show or specific characters on the show. So, in no particular order, here are ten things you should know about "Orange is the New Black" before you get into season three or before you start the show at season one. As the Vavel Television Editor says, FULL SPOILERS AHEAD
1. Crazy Eyes isn't just crazy:
Suzanne Warren is more than her nickname Crazy Eyes. She might be one of the most lovable characters in television history and that is not an exaggeration. When you first meet her in season one you look at her as comic relief at first and then as you get to know her, you realize that she just wants to be accepted like everyone else. She tries to get into a "Relationship" with Piper (who she calls Dandelion) and Piper ends up using her.
She eventually realizes that Piper isn't who she thought she was. Just as she gets over her, a woman by the name of Vee (who will be mentioned later) comes in and uses her need for acceptance and almost gets Suzanne locked up somewhere she shouldn't be. You will love her almost immediately and continue to love her more and more as the show goes on.
2. Don't feel bad for Piper:
Piper absolutely loves to play the pity card and talk about how bad she has it. Does she have it bad? Of course she does. She's in prison. But instead of accepting that maybe this is her own fault, she always finds a way to make it seem like she is the victim. She did the crime, she should do the time. When she had a chance to be released, she decided to protect a woman who is directly responsible for her being in jail.
Again, Piper knew there was a chance she could get locked up for her actions, but her ex-girlfriend pretty much sold her out. Beyond that, anything that happens is someone else's fault and never hers. Don't fall for it because she will give you a reason to not like her again.
3. Don't mess with Red:
You know that one woman you knew growing up or work with that will give you the coat off her back if you treat her right and you need it? She will bake you a cake and make sure everyone is organized and sings Happy Birthday perfectly. But if you cross her, she will never help you again and will make it a point to let you know that you not only messed up, but also makes sure you pay for it. Red is that woman.
Red is the mother of the prison. Even though the Latin women in the prison have an elder woman, even she goes to Red at times she needs something. The guards almost never catch on to what she is doing and even when they do, she finds a way to get her way again. Everyone knows a woman like her and you'll be reminded of her as soon as you meet her.
"All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well."-Red
4. Poussey's story is heartbreaking:
The past two seasons have shown a different character's background about either how they ended up in prison or a personal story that will help you understand the person better. Poussey's story was that of love that wasn't allowed to blossom. Yes, it was stated that there would be spoilers in this article; this is one story that you should see rather than read about. Obviously you could Google it, but it's not recommended. This much will be said: Poussey was a military brat whose father was stationed in Germany. As you can imagine, the military and the German's weren't very accepting of homosexuality. It is a tearjerker of a story.
5. Pornstache is horrible and funny:
Officer George Mendez a.k.a. Pornstache is just a horrible person. He does what he is told by his boss and doesn't care about how it affects the inmates and he actually gets off (not literally) on the misery he causes them. He doesn't care that throwing someone into solitary if they have claustrophobia, he has a message to send and he will send that message. That said, the man is pretty funny.
His hilarity is accidental, but still funny nonetheless. So while he may be a complete jerk-wad, he is still funny. When he gets fired for getting an inmate pregnant, he professes his love for her and tells the real children father the same thing. You don't feel bad for him because he's a turd and while he deserved to be fired for having sex with an inmate, you can't help but feel bad for the little redneck. But, eh, he knew what he the consequences.
6. Lorna Morello isn't what she seems:
When you first see Lorna, she seems like she is just the sweetest thing since sugar cane. She has a very 1940's look and looks like she is so happy that she poops rainbows and joy. Like all things, you can't tell a book by it's cover. She is a giant ball of crazy. Whether or not she is crazy because she is selfish or needs medication and help is debatable. Regardless, I would not want her loving anyone I was close to. She is liable to go off the deep end and put a bomb in something. You'll get the reference once you see it.
7. Pay Attention:
There is always a million things going on at once. Some of the things are very important and some of them are just little random things that are funny and have nothing to do with anything. While it may be fun to watch this show with a group of people, some things will fall through the cracks if you aren’t paying attention.
8. People get what they deserve:
This is not one of those shows where the bad guy gets away. We have all seen shows where the villain always escapes to live another day and we remain upset waiting for them to get there come-up-ins. Not happening here. When the villain presents itself, they will get what they deserve. It may take the entire season and it might not. But trust and believe they will pay what they owe. that brings us to number nine.
9. Vee:
Vee is the most horrible type of person. She is versed in manipulating young people into doing what she wants them to do and has no remorse when they get caught. She always has her favorites and will do her best to keep them out of trouble for as long as she can, but she doesn't care about them either. The only thing Vee cares about is herself. She may let off that she cares about someone, but in the end, she only cares about herself. She has gone so far as to kill a guy she "Loved" and treated like a son. Then there is Taystee (another great character) who she treated like a daughter she manipulates into leaving her best friend and a job she loved. There is nothing redeemable about her at all. But, don't worry, she gets hers.
10. Don't be offended:
This is not a show that you can watch if you are offended by anything. There will be cursing, nudity, sex, and humor about race, religion, sexual preference and just about anything you can think of. If you are offended, then this is definitely not the show for you. If you're not, well step right up and enjoy the show. The good thing is that the show isn't gratuitous. They aren't swearing for the sake of swearing or flasing a boob just because. It's all for a reason and it makes the comedy and nudity that much better. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
image source "popsugar-assets.com"
