To say this episode redeemed season 5 is an understatement. Wonder why the choreograph fight scene in Dorne is so bad? It’s probably because they spent it all on Hardhome. Hardhome more than makes up for the fumble that is Dorne. It’s almost important to note this episode advances the story past the books further than any other episodes.
It begins with Tyrion and Daenarys, a pairing we have been waiting for since the first episode. In what has to be one of the most awkward job interviews, Dany grills Tyrion on his motives as well as his abilities. Say, Tyrion, what would you consider your strength and weaknesses? “I killed my parents.” That pretty much answers both questions. They get to bond, in a morbid sort of way. They both have terrible fathers for one.
Dany’s father burned people alive; Tyrion’s father kills little babies and wanted to kill him. It became a verbal power duel. Danaerys did not hesitate to push her power over Tyrion, never hesitating to let him know she can have him killed at any time. Tyrion never flinched. As the smartest person in Essos, he took complete control of the conversation. You can’t threaten a man who has already lost everything.
Tyrion knows his worth and he knows Dany has more to lose by killing him. He needs to decide if Dany is worthy of his advice. We all see now how immature and unready Dany is for the Iron Throne. She seems to acknowledge this herself as she finally realizes the asset she have in having Tyrion on as an advisor. With the loss of Baristan and Jorah playing gladiator, Dany has no one familiar with Westeros on her side. Despite Daario’s many charm, he’s more apt to turn her into a mad queen than a good one who can make terrible people less terrible.
Finally acknowledging his worth, she agrees to take him on as an advisor. He warns her about the Game of Throne being played in Westeros. At one point he even urges her to stay in Mereen where she can do more good. And that’s when she drops the bombshell: Dany aims to break the game.
Out in Braavos, Arya is slowly learning to be somebody else. She’s currently an oyster dealer by the name of Lana. She finds enough money to buy a bucket and begins selling a handful of oyster in the streets of Braavos. A handful to a prostitute here, a few to a thin man there. As part of her training, she relays everything she does back to Ja’qen H’ghar, telling him all the truth until he thwacks her when she lies.
Her instructs her to build a repertoire with the thin man and tells her the secret behind the man’s business. He’s a gambler who gambles on the lives of sailors. She learns that he likes his oysters with vinegar. The next time she meets him, she is to serve him something extra in the vinegar. Thus begins Arya’s career as an Assassin.
In King’s Landing, Cersei is quickly realizing her words have no power in the dungeons of the Red Keep. Every day, one of the Septa visits her with a ladle of water. Every day she’s asked to confess her sin. If she doesn’t confess, she goes without water. Threatening the Septa only earns her a bop on the head. The logic behind is cruel to say the least but this is what people’s been waiting for, to see the bitch queen get her comeuppance. Qyburn pays her a visit to relay what has been happening while she’s locked up. We learn that Kevan Lannister is in town and is running the kingdom as Hand of the King. With both his wife and mother locked up, Tommen Baratheon is in a state of malaise. It’s interesting to see how Tommen is still on the Iron Throne. If the Faith Militant is so sure that Cersei is guilty of all her sins, wouldn’t that mean Tommen is an abomination? That’s one hole in this plot that’s not being covered up anytime soon. As Qyburn leaves, he promises Cersei he’s still continuing his work: he’s a necromancer – this could only mean one thing… undead Gregor Clegane.
In Winterfell, we learn the Bolton’s plan for war: attrition. They have enough supplies to last for 6 months. Of course, waiting them out is boring and boring is not Ramsay’s game. Ramsay has a better idea naturally. Give him twenty men and he will cause enough chaos among Stannis’ rank that all that’s left will be a feast for crows. Braavo, writers, touché. A Feast for Crows is the title of Book 4. Loving the subtle breakage of the fourth wall here. Meanwhile, Sansa’s verbal bullying of Reek is slowly starting to pay off.
In between his stutters and panic, Reek let loose the biggest secret the North has never known: Bran and Rickon are still alive. He spills the bean about the two farm boys he used instead. On a side note: We all know Bran is now with the 3-eyed Crow, but where is Rickon? Also it’s important to note Reek responded with “I”, showing signs that he’s slowly breaking out of his Reek identity. He may have time yet to repent and make it all right for Sansa.
At the Wall, Samwell is being nursed by Gilly when Olly walks in. Olly’s a lost little boy, confused about what’s going on. The writers want us to understand Olly’s confusion. He’s the son of farmers and he had to witness the butcher of his parents at the hands of the Thormund Giantsbane and his band of merry Wildlings. Sam offers him some condolences and tries to teach him a lesson in responsibility and decisions. Sam is clearly thinking of what Jon did but Olly probably had something else in mind. We have to remember; Olly saw the dead rise or the white walkers.
The worse thing Olly experienced was the massacre of his village. From Sam he learns: Sometimes you have to do something unpopular, that no one else likes, for the greater good. Olly takes this to heart. Whether he understands Jon’s decisions or whether it’s for his own machination, we’ll later find out by the end of the season. The boy is far too young to understand the severity of the danger he’s in. Sam’s advice may verily be perverted into a way for Olly to do something very unpopular and this does not bode well for our Lord Commander.
Finally we get to the meat and potatoes of the episode: Hardhome. We’re treated with an overview of the bay, a settlement surrounded by mountains with a wooden gate off to the north separating the bay from the rest of the frozen north. Tens of thousands of wildlings have fled here after Stannis’ force broke through Mance Rayder’s line. We see Stannis’ tall ships off in the distance, ready to take in refugees from the bay. This scene is important for several reasons. Readers of the books knows about Hardhome but only stories from ravens. All we know is something terrible happened there. Wildlings eating each other, the mist rolling in, wights in the forest. Fortunately, the show producers decided to change things up a bit by sending Jon Snow to the heart of the scene and boy was it a great idea.
His landing party is greeted by Rattleshirt. So this is where this guy disappeared off to since season 2. Rattleshirt will have none of the shit Jon Snow had to bring. A few unpleasant words were exchanged and Thormund wasn’t having any of it so he grabs Rattleshirt’s stick and beats him into a bloody pulp. It was no loss, Rattleshirt dies way earlier in the book so this was a longtime coming. They parlay with the elders of each clan in a hut sitting at the bottom of the cliff. The cannibal Thenns are there, along with a Wildling Mother (who we will now call WM for the sake of brevity), and Wun Wun, a giant mentioned in the book. Wun Wun who gets some of the best roles in the episode, including speaking the line, “What the fuck are you looking at?” in Giantspeak.
Jon Snow makes an unsuccessful case to win the Wildlings over with his famous Living vs. Dead speech. Offering dragon glass doesn’t help. Something about snow spiders the size of dogs – let’s hope that never comes true. He made it even worse by mentioning that it was his arrow that ended Mance Rayder’s life. If it weren’t for Thormund stepping in, Jon would’ve lost an eye to the Thenn. Fun fact: Notice the sharp, well-forged axe wielded by the Thenn. In the books, the Thenns are supposed to be the only Wildling clan who knows how to work with steel.
Their weapons are second to none north of the wall. It’s comforting to know the producers put this much attention to details. Unfortunately Snow was only able to win the support of a few clan. He was able to win the support of the WM with the “Think of the Children” speech, so that was good. The Thenn refuses, however, but at least we get the nice quote, “I fucking hate Thenns” And thus the slow evacuation begins. They’re loading children and old folks first. WM puts her children on the boat. Dolorous Edd is walking around, collecting the dragon glass when all of a sudden the dogs starts barking. A sudden mist starts rolling in. A white storm is quickly approaching the bay.
Panic sets in. Wildlings are now fleeing towards the harbor, stumbling into the boat. For some asinine reason, Jon’s asking the wildling to form a single line to get on the boat. Forget forming a single line, its every wildling for themselves. The Thenn orders the wooden gate closed, abandoning thousands of wildings behind the wall, a small symbolism of what the Ice Wall represent. The fog hits the gate, the wildlings caught at the wrong side of the gate. They’re crying, scared and desperate. And like a scene out of a horror movie, the banging stops.
Silence. Past the gate you can hear faint screams of horror. And then it gets worse. Like a scene out of World War Z, wights everywhere, banging on the gate, climbing the top, crawling through holes. Words cannot describe how epic the scene was. We have a giant stomping on wights, peeling them off his back. And then the White Walkers appears, four horsemen astride the cliff. Jon gets to duel one while trying to save the dragon glass and we finally confirm one theory: Valerian Steel works on them.
It’s a good thing Brienne was given a Valerian Steel sword from Jaime, she’s close by. Jon shatters one walker to bits before the wights starts piling off the cliff like lemmings. Dolorous Edd said what every viewer probably thought, “OH CRAP” and out they ran onto the boat. WM actually put up a good fight until the baby zombies came out of nowhere. At that point she lost all hope and gave in and succumbs to the madness.
Of course, Jon Snow, Tormund and Edd make it out alive on the last rowboat. It wouldn’t be dramatic otherwise. As they slowly, repeat, slowly, rows away, people are still being slaughtered. The Night King walks towards the dock. He’s surpassingly well dressed, a contrast to the loincloth they wore earlier when they attacked the Night’s Watch at the Fist of the First Men in season 2.
The Night King stares icy blue daggers at Jon Snow. He lifts his arms up and raises the dead, including WM. The face of hopelessness can be seen on Jon’s face. Kit Harrington really outdid himself this time. The mission was a failure. The army of the dead has grown stronger and they have no way to answer. Forget what’s happening in King’s Landing, forget Little Finger’s plots, forget Ramsay Bolton’s evil, forget Stannis’ fight for the Iron Throne, forget Dorne, forget Winter is Coming. Winter is here and it looks exactly like a cold day in hell.