The episode begins in South Park Elementary with some of the girls from the girl’s volleyball team passing out flyers for their game that night. One of the girls hands the flyer to Cartman who of course laughs it off saying, "Girls should be allowed to play sports, but you shouldn't expect people to look". The boys of the school dismiss it because they have to look Kenny fight someone after school. OH SNAP! Who is Kenny going to beat up? Some random kid in a store and they are playing a Magic the Gathering type of card game. Kenny appears to be losing but Kenny turns the tables and wins the game.
The next day all of the boys are talking about Kenny's win. Stan asks Wendy if she heard what happened yesterday and she says "Yeah, the girls volleyball team won by 20". Stan says that he was talking about Kenny's win and asked shocked if Wendy went. She says she did and that Stan should show more support. Out of nowhere, the Janitor confronts Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny and asks if they wanna see some "Man sh!t". Of course they do. So the janitor gives them the directions to something they will like. The address leads them to City Wok. The boys show up late wondering what it is and it's a cock-fighting ring. But not any cock fighting ring. It's roosters playing Magic the Gathering. The boys are all excited the next day and talking about the cock fighting magic, but Kenny is sad. He feels bad for the roosters because he feels like they didn't have a choice but to fight.
Kyle says they are doing what comes naturally. Cartman thinks he's mad because the roosters are stealing his thunder. Kenny says he's not. Stan decides they should go in on a rooster. Kyle says with Kenny's magic skills that they can't lose.The Police show up at Kenny's house saying that they know there's an illegal cock magic ring going on in town. Kenny's dad has no idea what it is. The detective says sarcastically. "Right. Roosters are being forced against the will to play Magic the gathering and you know nothing because you're right white.” Kenny's dad still has no idea what's going on. But back at Stan's house, Stan's dad Randy is telling them that cock magic is dangerous and he knows first hand because he played in college. Randy says he just wants to make sure if they do it, they do it safely. So drum music plays and Randy puts a handkerchief in front of his crotch and proceeds to do tricks with his penis. Stan embarrassed says that isn't the type of cock magic they are playing.
Image source "comedycentral.com"
Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman show up at a run down house to look for a rooster. The guy running the rooster factory explains what roosters are good for what and then Stan asks if he thinks the roosters are happy to which the guy responds "...They're f***ing chickens". Stan finds a young chicken and the owner of the place says he's too young and doesn't have a playing style. They think that's perfect. They name him McNuggets.
Back at Stan's house, Stan's sister Shelly tells her mom to get Randy out of the bathroom because he's been in there over an hour. She knocks on the door and while drum music plays from inside the bathroom, Randy is making weird noises. Randy comes out of the bathroom and says cock magic is coming back. Sheila is not happy about this. Randy tells her that Stan is into cock magic too. Sheila is shocked and Randy is determined to get back into it because he was the best in college (even though that's why he was kicked out of college).
The boys are back at the Magic Cock the gathering ring and McNuggets wins his match. The boys leave and are extremely excited. Cartman even says it makes regular magic the gathering look like girls volleyball. The boys are later approached by a mafia looking gentleman with two big goons and say, "You boys have a nice cock" and offers them a shot at a big time. Not just a basement of a Chinese restaurant, but the basement of chain Chinese food restaurant. He gives them the address and time and says, "Lets see how much money your cock can really make".
Now Randy (who is now known as The Amazingly Randy" is at a young child's birthday party doing, yep, cock magic. He sawed his penis in half and as he's bleeding from his penis, he pulls it from behind a girl’s ear completely ruining the girls day and probably her life. Moving on.
The next day in school, the boys are in class bragging about their night and how awesome it was, when Mr. Garrison introduces the girl's volleyball coach (who is built like a man). She is says that it's disappointing that they won again and no one shows up and says it's a bummer when you put your all into something and no one seems to care and people take it as a joke. Kenny seems to completely understand. Stand then responds by saying "Girls Volleyball isn't a joke. Jokes are hard require skill". Wendy then gets up to say that people should show up and Stan then realizes that Wendy is the captain of the volleyball team. Apparently he had no idea. Uh oh.
Back at the young girl's birthday party, the parents are making a police report about The Amazingly Randy's act. But all the detective wants to know is about the Cock Ring Magic. The detective takes the mother away for making a false Cock Magic Ring report.
The boys show up that night at a Panda Express for the Cock Magic Fighting (without Stan because he's at Wendy's volleyball game). Apparently the person McNuggets opponent is huge, undefeated and has never lost a hand. The rooster Gadnock "Breaker of Worlds". They say McNuggets doesn't wan to fight. McNuggets is being forced to fight. Actually, the mafia guys tells them to "Get their cock in there".
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Back from the break, ESPN Illegal, the station that brings you dog fighting and Bull fighting brings you Magic Cock fighting. Kenny stepped in to take McNuggets place. This is the first time this has happened. And Kenny comes out of nowhere and is kicking Gadnocks butt. Then out of nowhere, the police show up. How were they found? The flyers that said "Cock Magic Fighting at 9pm at Panda Express". But the Halftime show starts and it's the Amazingly Randy to show off his cock magic. The audience (and the writer of this article) is completely stunned and confused.
The next day at school Cartman is bragging about how bad ass Kenny was last night. Kenny said he feels bad for McNuggets because what will happen to him down. So in order to keep everyone happy, they combined Cock Magic Fighting and girls Volleyball.
Rating: 7
This wasn't a great episode, but it had some great moments.
