Modern Family Returns With “The Long Honeymoon"
Image credit: Entertainment Weekly

The season resumes in present time, and the events of the summer have taken their toll on the Pritchett and Dunphy clans.

Full Spoliers follow:

Mitchell and Cameron, who have recently returned from their honeymoon, have different ideas of how long the “honeymoon phase” should really last. Cam, in all his hopeless romantic glory, has taken it upon himself to extend the honeymoon phase indefinitely. Mitchell and his anxiety towards public displays of affection or generally any romantic notions, is left in a constant state of discomfort as he tries to determine a way to transition he and Cam’s relationship back to pre-honeymoon lovey-dovey status. Lily is once again Cam’s partner in crime (we later find her dressed for the part as an arrow-slinging Cupid), she at once reminds us that even though she plays along, she has her own opinion as to how crazy her dads can be, and really, who can blame her for not wanting a house full of bees.

Mitchell’s frustration with Cam’s never-ending honeymoon comes to a head when Cam surprises him at his office party and humiliates him in front of his straight-laced, conservative coworkers. Mitchell finally reaches his limit and tries his hardest to express his feelings without upsetting Cam. Cam’s emotions, being as strong as they are, respond in full force, resulting in Cam tossing all of the gifts he’d given to Mitchell since they returned from their honeymoon.

Following one of the creepiest romantic gestures of all times (making a photo montage of your sleeping husband and playing it on your television), we finally learn that Cam’s incessant need to turn his relationship into the never-ending honeymoon is a result of his fear that he’ll lose the closeness that planning and celebrating his wedding with Mitch has brought the couple. Reminding Cam that he doesn’t have to hold all the responsibility when it comes to their romantic lives, he and Cam dance and reminisce over their first conversation about moving in together. Lily abruptly ends the sweet exchange with a reminder that, who is anyone kidding, she’s in charge.

Apparently Jay has spent the summer letting himself go in the looks department, and Gloria is at a loss as to why her husband has given up trying to look sexy for her. Her solution of course has been to secretly ship off the worst of Jay’s wardrobe offenses to her iPad-wielding, video-chatting Columbian family. Manny has apparently spent his summer turning into an ever-growing adult and avoiding said Colombian family.

Gloria tests Jay’s limits to prove that he cares just as much as she does about how they dress in public, when she decides to don full soccer mom attire, fanny pack included, to accompany Jay out to a nice restaurant. Finally admitting to Gloria that he does prefer when she dresses up, he confides in her that an encounter at Barney’s with some teenage bullies has made him self-conscious of his age. Gloria, in all her Columbian-attitude glory, slaps Jay and reminds him she finds him sexy, and that everyone’s looks are fleeting, so why not enjoy them while they last. Once again America is reminded that Ed O’Neill is one of the luckiest fake husbands in the world.

Almost all of the members of the Dunphy household have had the summer of their dreams, with the exception of Alex, who spent her summer building houses while being surrounded by fellow volunteers with even less common sense than the family she spent her summer away from. Claire, Phil, Haley and Luke managed to spend their summers bonding over everything from Phil’s attempts at magic tricks to growing rhubarb and making pie. The return of Alex brings an abrupt end to their happy summer bubble and Claire and Phil are quick to try and fix the situation by guilting Alex into returning to her volunteer work. Alex, never missing a beat, realizes her parent’s scheming and angrily offers to call a ride and head straight back into her misery.

As Alex moves to make her exit from her less-than-welcoming family reunion, the rest of the family proceeds to remind us of exactly why they can’t live without her. When they come to the same conclusion, Claire and Phil, along with a reluctant Haley and Luke, convince her that, really, she is there only chance for survival in a house filled with little common sense and a lot of mischief. After managing to help put out a fire, keep the family from poisoning themselves, and preventing Haley from continuing to accidentally give the internet costless private webcam shows, Alex decides to stick around.

The episode culminates with Manny throwing a surprise birthday party a week early for Gloria, which she and Jay arrive at with Gloria still dressed in full-blown sweat suit action. She manages to pull the biggest surprise of all when she exits the room and returns moments later ready to party in a low-cut, form-fitting party dress; sweats, fanny pack, and smeared lipstick now gone. This leaves the viewer wondering about the season to come, and how Gloria will ever again defend spending more than 15 seconds pulling together an outfit.

The episode reminded us of all the things viewers have come to love about this family and their quirks. As the season gets underway, hopefully the writers will give the audience more character depth and development as these family units continue to grow together. Now in it’s sixth season, it can be very easy for shows to fall into formulaic and repetitive situations, but with a solid fan base and endless possibilities for the many different family dynamics this show creates, if any show has the ability to craft a fun and interesting season, Modern Family is it.

Rating: 8/10

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