The fall is known for a few things: The leaves changing color, school starting, the end of the summer, and usually, a new season of South Park. South Park will be entering its eighteenth season on September 24th. So with seventeen seasons of pure gold behind them, this writer decided to pick one moment or episode from each season that stood out for one reason or another. Hopefully, fans of the show will go back and look these great episodes and viewers unfamiliar with the show will use this list as a road map to eventually get into one of the best shows to ever grace the small screen.
Season 1 "Cartman gets an Anal Probe":
This was the episode that started it all. The creators (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) were using cardboard cut outs and stop motion animation in this episode so the animation wasn't that great (not that it's spectacular now), but even that didn't take away from the hilarity of this episode. In this episode, Cartman tells his friends (Stan, Kenny, and Kyle) he had a dream that aliens visited him and they put something up his butt. While his friends know what happened to be true, Cartman believes it was all just a dream. Little did he know it was actually a device the aliens used to (spoiler alert from season 7 called "Cancelled) to monitor humans on Earth for a realty TV show called "Earth".
The kids get on the school bus and Kyle leaves his little brother Ike at the bus stop. Kyle turns around and sees that aliens are abducting his little brother. In order to get him back, they had to summon the alien’s ship. Only way to do that is to get Cartman to fart. Towards the end of the episode, Cartman is tied to a tree so Cartman couldn’t be pulled away by the alien’s tractor beam when they arrived. When Cartman finally farted, a twenty foot radar came out of his butt and the alien ship appeared. Kyle got his brother back and Cartman was still dragged away by the aliens. Cartman would be dropped off the next day still thinking that it was all just a dream.
This episode marks the first (and certainly not the last) time Kenny dies and the first time Stan barfs when Wendy (his crush) talks to him.
Season 2 "Chicken Lover":
Yes, this is exactly what you think it is and possibly their silliest episodes to date. A man was...making love to chickens and it caused mass hysteria in South Park. After he would make love to a chicken, the criminal would leave a note to help the police catch him. Unfortunately, Officer Barbrady is illiterate. Officer Barbrady would struggle to read the notes while this guy would keep making love to these chickens. Eventually, Barbrady would catch him.
Come to find out, the guy was only doing this to help Barbrady get over his inability to read. You read that right. The guy was banging...making love to chickens to teach someone how to read. This episode also has a line that cannot be left out. There's a scene where a shadow looms over a chicken in a coop and the mysterious Chicken Lover says, "What's a chicken like you doing in a coup like this?"
Season 3 "Sexual Harassment Panda":
The third grade kids are learning what is and isn't appropriate behavior and what better way to teach that than with a guy in a panda suit singing a song and ending almost every sentence with "That makes me a saaaad panda". There isn't one. There just isn't one.
Season 4 "Finger Bang":
Cartman had a dream. Not one of equality. Cartman is an a-hole. He had a dream of finding a way to make money. And what was his idea this time? Put together a boy band. Cartman and the boys (Stan, Kyle, and Kenny) were going to form a boy band called Finger Bang. Unfortunately, every boy band needs five members and there were only four of them. So tryouts were held. And even though she wasn't a boy, Wendy was the most talented and won the tryout. Stan went home thinking that his parents would be ok with him doing this, but Stan's father Randy forbid it.
You see, he was once in boy band and while it started with riches and sex with tons of women, it ended once he got too old and was replaced by a younger group. Randy didn't want him to go through that same pain. Eventually, Randy gets over it and lets Stan perform. Kenny dies and they need another member to replace him for their first gig at the mall. Randy replaces Kenny for their performance and all is well. Cartman gives up this dream at the end of this episode.
One other great thing about this episode is the mall manager. His character is a riot without even trying. Everything is "WHAT?!?!?! Oh. WHAT?!?!?!".
Season 5:
There were too many great moments in this season to pick just one. So here are five good ones:
5. "It hits the fan": They said "Shit" 162 uncensored times.
4. "Cripple Fight" Jimmy and Timmy literally have a cripple fight. The writers based the fight off of the fight Roddy Piper had with Keith David in "They Live".
3. "Scott Tenorman Must Die": Cartman gets fooled by Scott Tenerman over and over again. So Cartman gets revenge by having his parents killed and ground into chili that he later feeds to Scott Tenerman.
2. "Kenny Dies": Kenny actually dies and doesn't come back (until the end of the next season). It's a very overly dramatic episode.
1. Butter's very own Episode: Butters gets his own episode. He finds out his dad enjoys sex with men and when his mom finds out (Because Butters tells her and doesn't realize what he actually saw) she tries to drown him in a car.
Season 6 "Professor Chaos":
Butter gets kicked out of the boys' group as their fourth member. Butters finally gets fed up with being pushed around and made fun of. So Butters creates an alter ego. Professor Chaos: "Bringer of Destruction and Doom". What makes this so funny is that all of Butters plans are still those of a naive fourth grade kid. One of his plans consisted of turning on the hose at his house and leaving it on until he flooded the world. Another was simply mixing up orders at a restaurant. It's cute, but also really dumb and hilarious.
Season 7 "Krazy Kripples":
Christopher Reeve comes to South Park to show everyone the benefits of stem cells. Jimmy and Timmy are upset at all of the attention Christopher Reeve is getting because he wasn’t a real cripple because he wasn’t born cripple. So Jimmy and Timmy create a new group called "The Kryps". They were surprised to find out that there was already a group called the Kryps. So the go and join them.
They end up joining the Cryps and accidentally kill some Bloods. After Jimmy’s house is shot up in retaliation, Jimmy and Timmy bring the two factions together to try and end their war. They were successful when Jimmy says to the two groups "I mean, come". Thus ending the beef between the Cryps and the Bloods
Season 8: "Woodland Critter Christmas":
Cartman is telling a Christmas story that he wrote in which Stan is the star. Stan comes across a bunch of woodland creatures who tell Stan of a mountain lion that is out to kill their pregnant porcupine’s baby. Stan is talked into killing the lion. After returning, the creatures thank Stan for killing the lion because now the antichrist can be born.
To celebrate, the critters sacrifice one of their own and have a blood orgy (It's exactly what you think it is and it is funny and disturbing). Stan redeems himself by teaching the lion's cubs how to perform an abortion on the critter and thus stopping the coming of the antichrist. And Kyle dies of AIDS for no reason at all other than the fact that it's Cartman's story and he hates Kyle.
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Season 9: "Trapped in the Closet"
Stan comes across the church of Scientology and his readings on the E-Meter are off the chart. The church thinks he is the second coming of their founder L. Ron Hubbard. Stan is later visited by the church's leader and told the story of their church. Tom Cruise comes to talk to Stan and asks if he's proud of him and all his acting work. Stan says he's an ok actor, but he’s not as good as the Napoleon Dynamite guy. Cruise is so crushed that the reincarnation L. Ron Hubbard doesn't think he's great goes in Stan’s closet and then refuses to come out.
Tom's wife Nicole Kidman tries to get Tom to come out of the closet telling him that it's ok and everyone will understand that was in the closet. Tom tells Nicole that he is, in fact, not in the closet so he can't come out. She responds by saying she knows he's in there and everyone also knows he's in the closet. Alas, Tom would not come out of the closet. Later, John Travolta attempts to get Tom to come out of the closet. John Travolta goes in WITH Tom Cruise and now John Travolta won't come out of the closet.
Later R. Kelly (who has repeatedly threatened to shoot people during a couple of news interviews) tries to get John Travolta and Tom Cruise to come out of the closet. R. Kelly threatens to shoot everyone if he is not allowed access into the closet. Now R. Kelly is in the closet and he also won't come out. Right as Stan is about to tell the followers of Scientology the new rules so he can make a bunch of money, he has a change of heart. Stan tells them all that he is just a kid and not L. Ron Hubbard reincarnated. After hearing that, Tom Cruise, R. Kelly, and John Travolta all come out of the closet. Tom threatens to sue Stan. Stan tells him to go ahead and that he isn’t afraid of them. The credits roll and every name is John Doe.
Stay tuned for part two of our South Park Moments series! Coming soon.
